Miracle Birth Story Part 2

Friday

Within several hours of being in the hospital, they did an ultrasound of my kidneys and concluded that there were no kidney stones. This made the doctors rule out the "better" diagnosis. The high risk doctor came to visit me and they did an ultrasound to see if there were any adhesions from my previous c-section. They found some things that looked suspicious but could never get clarification on if that was the issue or not.

Things had finally calmed down some and my parents had left for the evening and Matt and I were trying to settle down to sleep. At that time, my nurse came into the room and asked me if I knew that I was having contractions every 2 minutes. I told her that I just felt constant pain but no contractions. I was no longer allowed to have food or drink and she went to call my doctors. Her words were "you might be having this baby tonight". We called my parents back up the hospital and the anxiety levels increased again. Have this baby? Tonight? This was NOT the game plan. He was to be born on July 23 during a 12:30pm c-section. He would share the same birthday as my late grandfather who he was named after. This was all planned out!! THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN! I still had bottles and things to sterilize at the house (yes - that was still all I could think about - things that I thought I could control).

My nurse came back in and said the high risk doctor said that as long as I could not feel the contractions then we were okay. Again, all I could think about was that I had all these things left to do that I had not done. Matt told me that I mentioned about sterilizing items about 10 times. I was trying to gain control over something and I realized that had control over nothing. My nurse found me something to eat, got me some pain medication, and a sleeping pill. Thank God for ambien because I do not how I would have slept at all during this entire ordeal.

Saturday morning I woke up to having contractions again but this time I could feel them. They were coming at 4 minutes apart. Doctors were called again and my food and drinks were taken away AGAIN. We then called my parents back up to the hospital because there was talk we would be having him in several hours. Contractions subsided and I was again able to eat and drink...except this time my appetite never really came back.

The high risk doctor came back in and explained that their main concern was uterine rupture. They talked about how rare it was but they couldn't explain my pain. The only thing that they could tell me was that I was not allowed to leave the hospital. There was then more talk about when we would do a c-section. I was given a steroid shot to help develop Will's lungs further and an amniocentesis was scheduled for the next day.

This is when I felt that I had completely lost control. I felt so scared and so mad at God. Him and I had so many conversations...well...I wouldn't really call them conversations. I did a whole lot of talking and yelling at God. Doesn't He understand how I like everything in order and nothing off schedule?? What was all this about? I just kept praying my pain would go away and we would be discharged....that never happened....