Traditions

I have let my selfishness/self pity get the best of me this weekend. Friday night, I went to the Good Friday service at the new church we are attending. To be honest, I did not give it a fair shot. I walked in already knowing it wouldn't meet my expectations. Why do I keep doing this? Why does it matter that there is no choir or a sanctuary or hymns?

Then Easter came and I honestly went in with a better idea. I was orginally going to go to my old and new church so that I could get the best of both worlds. Then I thought that it was just silly and that I couldn't just retreat to what was comfortable for me. Also, it just wouldn't be the same without Matt being beside me. We went to the new church and I just cried. But...what was I crying about? Because they didn't sing Christ the Lord is Risen Today? Because I wasn't in a sactuary? Because it wasn't what I wanted for that morning? Because it wasn't what I have had for the past 26 years....

So of course I have been in my recliner with my Bible and having some one on one time. Well...it was more like a literal "come to Jesus talk". I have let the traditions, the surroundings, the "things" get in the way of worship. Or this weekend, I let the the absence of these things get in the way of worhsip. I still think this will be something that I will struggle with mainly because this has been something that has been a part of me for so long.

As I sat and listened to Christ the Lord is Risen Today (on YouTube and yes I did sing along), I became sad again because I realized that Elizabeth won't grow up to know these songs. Then I get into a fight with myself about but why does it matter what songs she grows up? The contemporary songs say the same thing. But my fear is that those songs change all the time and there is something to be said about the old hymns. Solution for now: download my favorite hymns and have them playing in the car to daycare.

For those of you that know me know that I have to have a solution to everything (hence the solution to the hymns problem). Maybe that is what I am struggling with the most is that this whole decision to leave my comfort zone was not my decision. God is the only one with the solution. And even deeper, Matt is now the spiritual leader of the house. Which is great...but some days do I wish I still had that control? Was it easier when he wasn't? Would I want it to go back to the way it was....if it meant Matt not being the man of God he is now, then NO.

Just learning every day that even when it looks easy, it isn't. Just when I think I have it all under control, He reminds me I don't.

Just when I get comfortable, He makes me uncomfortable.

Like a Lion

What a glorious day!! To remember that Our Savior is Alive!!!


One of my favorite songs right now is sung by The David Crowder Band and it is called Like a Lion. This is all I have been thinking about this Lent. Here are the lyrics:

Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold
To see a revolution somehow.
Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold
To bring a revolution somehow

Now I'm lost in your freedom
This world I'll overcome.

My God is not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide
My faith is dead
I need a resurrection somehow

Let Heaven roar and fire fall
come shake the ground
with the sound of revival

My God is not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/african-lion/

Rejoice in the fact that our God is not dead, but He is Alive!!! Thank you Jesus for all you did for me before I was even born. Thank you for your sacrifice and your suffering. Most of all...thank you for loving me so much that you would not only die on the cross for me but rise from the dead. You are amazing!!

Living on the Other Side of Easter

(Here were some of my thoughts that I mentioned last Easter in Sunday School and I have been thinking hard on them during this Lent season)

In many contemporary Christian songs, I hear the phrase "there may be pain the night but the joy comes in the morning". It led me to think...why are we always living on the Saturday before Easter? Many times we get stuck in feeling sorry for ourselves, for the pain we are going through. We are heart broken, lost a friend, not believing the promises of Jesus.

Not believing what He told us was true. Doubt. Disbelief.

Why do we do this? We know what He said. Why are we still mourning? Many times I have wondered what I would have done if I was one of the disciples. I couldn't imagine how they must have been feeling on that Saturday. They had given up everything to follow Him. They had witnessed Him being arrested and taken from them. Then they watched as everyone mocked Him and as He suffered on the cross. Can you imagine? Someone you have spent years with. Not just an aquaintance, but a good friend. Then He tells you He's leaving but don't worry, I'm coming back again. WOW!!

Many times I hear people say that their faith is strong, but many times we do not know this until it is tested. The disciples were put through the ultimate test on that Friday and Saturday. I wish I could say that I would be clinging to the promise that He told me which was that He would return, but I do not think I would. Why? Because every day I suffer from the sin of self pity. Every day I forget His promises and instead think that I know the right answer. That there is no way He can be raised up from the dead - I watched Him die. Our human logical nature takes over.

I pray that tomorrow you will relive what it felt for the disciples when they found out that He Is Risen!! Cling to those promises that we know are true. I am hoping that I do not fall back into the Saturday before Easter. I know that I will because I am only human but I pray that I would have many more moments when I realize that He has always kept His promises and He always will!

We should be living our lives like it was Easter Morning every day!!!

Easter Eggs and Easter Bunny

This year I have been really bothered by the fact that we have taken this special day and turned it into craziness filled with an Easter Bunny and Easter Eggs. For some reason I am not as bothered about Christmas and Santa Claus as I am about the Easter Bunny. Any moms out there thinking about contacting the Easter Bunny and having him come Saturday night instead of on Sunday? When I was thinking about this, I found this blog that does a great job making Easter baskets Christ-Centered. It will be good for when Elizabeth is older. Check it out!!

http://detailorienteddiva.blogspot.com/search/label/Christian%20Easter%20Basket

I am looking forward to this weekend with spending time with my sweet little family. We are having an Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday and I hoping to maybe make some homemade rice krispies eggs (this is a BIG deal for me because I don't bake at all!!). Looking forward to explaining to Elizabeth later what this sweet weekend represents.

I also found a great idea to do with jelly beans. I found this jelly bean prayer on this blog:

http://michellelunt.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-04-14T07%3A03%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7

But here is the prayer:

Red is for the blood He gave
Green is for the grass He made
Yellow is for the sun so bright
Orange is for the edge of night
Black is for the sins we made
White is for the grace He gave
Purple is for His hour of sorrow
Pink is for our new tomorrow

A bag full of jelly beans
colorful and sweet
Is a prayer, is a promise,
is a special treat.


I love it!! Looking for other special things to help me deal with the secular side of Easter. If you find anything let me know!!!

Maundy Thursday

Could you imagine being back in Jesus' time and eating and chillin' with Jesus??

Listening to Him preach.

Perform miracles.

See Him face to face.

I used to always tell myself that I would do things differently than the disciples. How foolish were they. Did they not know how good they had it to be able to have Jesus in the flesh before them?? Oh wait...who is the foolish one?? I have the entire instruction manual! I have all of the love letters He has written to me. Do I forget how good I have it? How good I have it to be able to worship in a church and not fear persecution. How good I have it to even be able to have heard the good news of Jesus Christ when so many have never heard His name much less His promises.

Tonight signifies when Jesus had His last supper with the disciples. I love reading this story again and again because they just didn't have a clue what was about to happen. I think we can all relate to this. You can feel God working in your life, almost like He is preparing you for something. Many time we think we know what He is preparing us for. Then...all of the sudden a huge storm comes our way! We act shocked and confused...but wasn't He preparing us??

Today I am reflecting on preparing. What is God preparing me for? What did God prepare Jesus for? Are you ready for when He fulfills the promises??
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