Thankful for GAP

41. Laughter of Billingsley siblings
42. Hugs from a stranger
43. Unexpected words of encouragement
44. Clean dishes in the sink
45. Hum of the car driving down the road
46. Silence in the car when all I hear are my thoughts
47. Mission team arriving safely home
48. Sitting with family in church
49. Tears of sadness for missing family but tears of joy that we will one day see them again
50. Elizabeth missing her daddy - her love for him shines through
51. $100 needed at just the right time
52. Words of thanksgiving from a man still in pain after multiple surgeries
53. Leadership of the church
54. A husband whose heart is for being there for others
55. Words leaping off the pages of the Bible
56. GAP Ministries


A few Thursday a month, I have the joy and privilege of leading a bible study for GAP Ministries which provides the poor with a food pantry, nursing assistance, birth certificates, and IDs. On Sundays, they provide a meal and worship. But Thursday mornings is what moves me. I remember the first time I can down there to lead the study. I was scared out of my mind! I was scared of the homeless. Yes...I do work with the homeless, but I thought, not "these" homeless. My homeless have background checks and kids, and are not "street" homeless. Looking back on it, I am embarrassed I felt this way. BUT...I realize that my feelings were no different than what many people feel when someone asks them to step out of their comfort zone. The first Thursday, I was scared to death. You see, I can talk in front of people about Interfaith, but not about God. I have NEVER led any type of Bible Study before. I have taught only a few Sunday School Lessons to a small group of my friends, but never to 50 or more people.

I cannot put into words what Thursday mornings has done for me....what God has done in my heart through some incredible people that come to GAP.

I definitely don't fit in. I am a small, white, woman in the midst of larger, mainly African American men. I can be loud and a "firecracker" and most are reserved and weary of strangers. I am sober. Some are drunk or struggling with addiction. I have a clean record. Some have served time in jail. I have a house. Many do not know where they are sleeping tonight. Many look just like you or I. Many are working so many hours of week but still cannot make ends me. I am filled with happiness. Many are filled with anger and resentment.

I have faith - many of them have faith stronger than I have ever seen.

I do not fit in. But I want to fit in. I want my faith to be so strong that even in plenty and in want, my faith in my Lord Jesus Christ is the same! I am thankful for God pushing me into GAP Ministries. If it were up to me, I do not know if I would have done it. I had so many excuses - homeless, fear of standing in front of people and talking about the bible, what if they asked a question I didn't know the answer to, what if....what if...

What if that one person never heard about Jesus Christ?

People need to hear and SEE the love of Christ. I am thankful that I get to do this specifically on Thursdays. I am thankful for each person there that has touched my life. And to think...I could have missed it!


Thankful...Thankful...Thankful...

31 Gifts and Counting

31. Husband that got up in the middle of the night with Carrigan
32. Sweet Elizabeth telling Carrigan "It's okay...I know...I know...your Mommy will be home soon". (tear)
33. Sun peeking through clouds on my drive into work
34. Hymns playing through Pandora at work
35. Quick trips to the Doctor's office
36. Familiar faces when anxiety increases
37. Unexpected meals with the hubby
38. Quiet days at the office
39. Light rain falling and the noise on the roof
40. "I wuv you too Mommy"

To Give Thanks....

16. a church community that supports and love
17. the smiles on faces at 4:15 in the morning as they leave for Belize
18. tears in church as we learn on how to be thankful
19. truth
20. a husband that loves the Lord
21. giggles and smiles with having 2 children in the house
22. teamwork
23. proud family looking on as Matt gets the governor's award
24. quite moments sitting next to each other
25. dogs snoring on the couch
26. contentment
27. stressful times that have a moment in peace
28. forgiveness
29. joy that comes only from above
30. little hands on my face drawing my attention in

Smaller Blessings?? Is there such a thing?

I feel as if I should clarify some things before I start this post: I am totally and completely grateful for the big things: Christ dying for me, a loving and forgiving God that picks me up when I fall, a home, a job, financial stability, family, parents, husband, daughter, etc, etc....I am not mentioning these this month because I feel that I am always thankful for those things but yet I fail to see the other blessings. I had to catch myself, because I almost wrote "smaller blessings". I do not see it that way. Everything God has given me is HUGE, it is just that I can only see it through worldly eyes in which the "big" things are those that we think we need (i.e. what is listed above). There are plenty of people who do not have those things but who are richly blessed.

I encourage you if you are going on this journey with me to seek out ALL that God is providing you with today...it is in the details. I am reminded that God does not make mistakes. You did not just run into that person for no reason, or see that insect in the grass, or look up and still the moon while the sun was up as well. Everything has a reason and a purpose. Don't take it for granted! So, how we learn to give thanks for EVERYTHING??

In Philippians 4:11-12 Paul writes "I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."

I love what Ann Voscamp writes in One Thousand Gifts about this passage. Just to give you some background, she has written in the pages before about eucharisteo "he gave thanks" coming from Luke 22:19:

"It's Paul writing the letter to the Philippians. I read the fourth chapter. I almost don't see it, but Paul repeats it twice in only two sentences, so I don't miss it.

I read it many times, groping for the latch.

There it is - The secret to living joy in every situation, the full life of eucharisteo. Twice Paul whispers it: "I have learned...." Learned. I would have to learn eucharisteo. Learn eucharisteo - learn to live it fully. Learn it like I know my skin, my face, the words on the end of my tongue  Like I know my own name. Learn how to be thankful - whether empty or full." 

Wherever you are at right now, empty or full, we have to learn to be thankful. This does not come easy to us because we are of the world. The world tells us that we deserve these things and that we are empty if we don't have those "big blessings". Don't fall in this trap. Today, seek learn...seek to find...blessings.

6. sound of door closing letting me know my husband made it home safe from working the midnight shift
7. staff who are so flexible and love my families/children
8. words of encouragement from random stranger while voting this morning
9. feeling "full"
10. smell of heat coming on for the first time this season in an old office
11. Elizabeth saying "i gonna vote" this morning while going to vote withe me - reminder of this great country and the freedom to vote
12. smiles and laughter as my goddaughter walked to me at daycare today
13. cried of Elizabeth as I left her at daycare but knowing it is making her independent (sometimes the sad times are blessings as well).
14. the moon sharing space in the sky with the sun
15. wind gently bowing the branches of the tree out the office window


For these things, even though they seem "smaller" than other things, are all the blessings of an amazing God who continues to bless me every day. Father, I am so unworthy of these things but I cannot express my desire to appreciate you even more.

Thankful

It has taken me a while but in the last month I finally finished the book, One Thousand Gifts. It truly is one of the most amazing books I have read. I honestly think that it took me so long to read it because I never wanted it to end! The book encourages you to look at all of the blessings in your life and to be thankful to God for EVERYTHING. In trying to do this everyday, I have seen a difference in the way I view my life, my day, my family, my work, everything. Don't get me wrong, there are many days that I miss this completely, but for this month of November, I have taken the challenge that many are trying to do: document what I am thankful for during this month.

I am challenging myself to find more than just 1 thing daily to be thankful for. In the back of my mind I can hear Satan reminding me how crazy busy my schedule is looking like coming up...how will you ever have time to much less think about this, much less blog about it? I might not blog about it every day but I keep my list going!

1. warm bed on a cold morning
2. sweet noises of a sleeping child in the baby monitor
3. sun beaming through the windows and onto my desk
4. giggles of children on the IHNA bus
5. cold diet coke (this might come up more than once!)


Until the next posting...